What will it take?

9.33.51pm GMT Thu 12th Nov 2009

© Evening Gazette 12/11/09

In the same week that we have seen £73million of hotels up for sale in the town, Blackpool Council has signed the approval of development for a wedding chapel on the seafront. Questions once again have to be asked about the consultants at ReBlackpool: particularly what mind-altering drugs they are on.

Forecast to be a "much loved landmark" (remember that) by ReBlackpool chief executive Doug Garrett, the bright yellow construction - modelled in the style of Spongebob Squarepants - will dominate the recently built Tower Festival Headland, is said to be costing £2.7million and construction is said to be starting next year.

To be honest I didn't think there was a massive market for people wanting to get married in Blackpool but I trust that Mr Garrett or one of his overpaid minions has done the necessary homework.

I'm amazed that this is the best that ReBlackpool can come up with and that they really think that gimmicks like this are going to change the fortunes of a town that continues to rest on its laurels. Are ReBlackpool devoid of ideas and prepared to accept any old tat as long as they can attach a price tag and an artist's impression to it?

I sit and wait for the day that I open the Gasjet and think "YES!" about any of these wild schemes.

Locals don't need reminding of this, but once again it must be reiterated that infrastructure should be at the core of all material projects in the town. Instead, though, they continue to fritter away our cash with schemes that range from papering over the cracks to outright bizarre.

We've seen Peter Callow talking big but revealing himself as a dinosaur, bereft of ideas and vision, unable to see the wood for the trees but happy to spring up and put his name to any speculative cash proposition. This is the man, after all, that brought War of the Worlds to Birley Street.

Even Labour mouthpiece Simon Blackburn has it bang on when he says, "the council should be spending money on things that matter to the people who live and work in the resort." If Roy Fisher and his cartel were any different I might have taken Blackburn a bit more seriously.

The simple things have been gotten so wrong at the expense of highly visible gimmicks. The town is in bed with the cycling lobby and continues to receive millions for cycling related projects, but what's the point when the road surfaces are appalling? Road junctions are constantly being reworked and made worse, with dodgy slip roads, unpredictable traffic lights and convergent lanes that encourage dangerous driving to skip past a few cars. It seems sometimes like the council are trying to encourage roadblock, but there's no alternative.

Pavements are uneven, cracked and subsiding. Bus routes are slow, buses are horrible and old with the services due to be cut in order to reduce outgoings in relation to the free OAP bus pass. The tram system is a financial loser but again is receiving the "lick of paint" treatment in the form of a £100million renewal of the tracks including a £20million depot at Starr Gate and some new trams. It's still going to be a loser. Maxine Callow wants to cut the Blackpool South train line, removing another transport link.

In the town's heyday it was so much better, trains connected the town with everywhere and as a result the place was booming. Reduction after reduction in service and investment in the railway has killed it off, with Preston being the beneficiary as a local transport, shopping and business hub and Blackpool having a sad excuse for a station in an even sadder location.

Transport always seems to be the last thing on the council's mind. Look at the jams all the way up Adelaide Street due to the Houndshill revamp. Look at the cock up with St. Johns square. It has been said that it takes longer to get into Blackpool than it does to travel 19 miles to Preston.

Even if the transport links were perfect, though, the town requires places of quality. There might be Bella Italia but you wont find Pizza Express, Cafe Nero or Nando's. You wont find John Lewis. You wont find a Gap or a FCUK. You wont even find Wetherspoons.

You will, however, find Home Bargains, Poundland, Phones4U, Even more Phones4U and Primark. You will find derelict buildings - some with smashed windows - left to rack and ruin, some with council-funded placards embossing their windows to hide the squatters. You will find a dirty, derelict-looking Winter Gardens plastered in flyers; a landmark structure left to die after Trevor Hemmings' casino gamble failed to pay off.

The Winter Gardens is representative of the town, a lot like the Talbot Road bus station is. Old and once attractive, these structures have snowballed down the slope of neglect, losing purpose and value. They have fallen out of date and need demolishing or mind blowing investment.

Vincents, of Cedar Square, is reportedly receiving said investment in the form of an £80,000 facelift with the Council footing 75% of that. It's not a bad idea but like every council project the cost to product ratio is stratospheric. But it's just a lick of paint: again. It'll still be a wannabe cafe, staffed by the remnants of a failed radio repair shop in Krakow, serving up prepacked Brake Brothers crap heated up in a microwave at Michelin-starred prices. It'd soon get a cracking reputation if it served proper food, high prices or not.

But where's the China Red? Where's the Michaels? Where's the Twelve? Where's the Portofino's or the Chicory?

Where are the professional businesses? Where's the nearest cinema?

When's the next train to Manchester?

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